Hi
I have a 10 year old daughter who, unfortunatley, has inherited her fathers hair gene. ( quantity being the issue rather than colour)My sons are like me, not very hairy. I think she is very aware of her legs and won't wear a skirt to school. My sister said I should shave her legs!!!!!! I was horrified with that idea. I only started doing my legs about 5 years ago and then only ocassionally, and I'm nearly 40!
She is starting to get greasy hair and it needs to be washed every few days now. Another thing I noticed was under arm odour . Her period hasn't started yet and don't know how long we have left before it does. This is all too early . she's still a little girl why is life so mean. Has anyone got any advice they can give me on anything mentioned above I would be most greatful. I'm not looking forward to the next few years, we seem to clash at the best of times without more hormones rushing around the house. I love her dearly and feel she is not ready for all this yet.Or maybe its me who isn't ready?
her school year had a talk on puberty last term, when I asked her what they talked about she said she couldn't remember, then went all bashfull and said they talked about Flamitary towles!!!!!!!!!!!!! hey ho!
RE: puberty.Oh help!!
dear hot pepper
Sounds like you need to take charge of the education process, my husband was seduced at eleven years old.
Well I would do all I could to make her life as comfortable and as care free as possible they have enough to worry about in today's society as I am sure that you are aware of the huge pressure on these youngs ones. Sorry I can't be more helpful, I am a strong advocate of allowing the child to decide what they would like in consultation with parents. Meeting their needs instead of us getting them to meet ours, treating them as our equals and honouring their wishes. But they need to be informed of the pro's and con's of each decision so that they can make a considered choice. Then they can't blame you if they don't like the outcome for they have taken responsibility for the solution. I did this with my son from the age of five, I also used to discuss business and relationship issues with him in a way that he could understand, this enabled him to learn about the big wide world while he was growing up. He is now 21 and friends say he is the most well adjusted young man that they know.
Love beyond measure
Kim xx
RE: puberty.Oh help!!
Oh Bless! I can understand how hard it is for you, my daughter is 15 now and started her periods at 12, this is very common, I started then too. So it's not unusual for her to be at this stage and lots of girls do start early nowadays.
If you want my honest opinion here goes. You were very late to shave your legs!!!! I did mine at 14 and almost took most of my shin off with my dad's razor.[&:]
If she is really embarrassed by it and wants them done then do it. Either let her shave them (you show her how) or get them waxed at a salon. They do loads of young girls and anyway she will probably grab the razor anyway and to it herself. Why make her suffer? It's just a quick flick over and problem solved. As for body odour, well it makes sense to buy her a deodorant doesn't it? This is just basic hygiene. You need to talk to her about this stuff, please don't ignore it, we are not in the Dark Ages now.
It will help if you build up good communication with her, tricky if she is embarrassed but I never had the problem with this as I always had an open dialogue with my daugher from when she started asking questions from about 5. Just answer simply without going into too much detail. Tell her that if she wants to discuss ANYTHING with you then she only has to ask and make time for her privately.
You will notice a pattern in her mood swings way before her periods start. My daughter started this about 18 months before her period. Just let it be. It's all part of growing up anyway. don't get hung up on it and try not to take it too much to heart.
I know it is hard and harder for some, but girls grow up very quickly these days. All the more reason for you to have good communication with her and help her through this bewildering stage.
Good luck. Don't worry about it, they can be awful but they are lovely the rest of the time! You have yet to face the belly button piercing stage and the countless piercings in the ears, which I am at now. She's still a little girl, even if her periods do start and you will get used to it soon enough.:)
RE: puberty.Oh help!!
Hiya
No words of wisdom to offer except try and remember how you felt at that age.....life can be so confusing, body becoming an adult but age so young its a hard place to be caught in hence the frustrations arrive...
T
x
RE: puberty.Oh help!!
HI
I cant say if you should or should not allow your daughter to wax or shave her legs as that is up to you but I will just tell you my story.
I am half turkish and my hair is nearly black. The hair on my legs is quite thick and my twin sister and I was bullied and teased at school for it. We were the first girls at school to wear a bra as well.
I know she seems young but some girls go it through younger. I just wished my mum let me shave as I was really bullied at school. You might be finding it a nighmare but its probably really confusing for her. I was 10 when I had my first bra and 12 when I started my periods. My mother would only allow me to wash my hair twice a week (dont want to wash the goodness out) it was awful!
Even now I find the whole greasy hair, face and excessive hair a nightmare!! My boyfriend quite funny as he says that he has never met anyone that has no hair (I get rid of it once a week when he is not around!) I have to wash my hair everyday - I hate doing it but its something I have to do.
One thing for sure my mother told me all about puberty (and I had an older sister) so for me and my other sister it was never a big deal but my mother would never let us deal with it probably ie - shave legs, wash hair every day etc.
Susan
RE: puberty.Oh help!!
Ladies thanks for all your replies. All sensible and practical advice.
I do talk to her and answer any questions she has,as i do with the boys (8 &12)
My mum never really talked to us about "life". we had a book but were not supposed to show our friends or talk about it with them. I definatley won't go down that road with my lot.
As regards to shaving late. What can I say, partly rebellion, I didn't want stubbly legs and to be honest you can barley see the hairs on my legs anyway.
Thanks again it has helped to read what you have all written. And I have taken it all on board.Next quiet oppotunity I have with her I will talk to her.
RE: puberty.Oh help!!
dear candie
oh....piercing
we discovered that the ones on the brow are blocking a meridian, so feel sure it must be the same with the belly button too!
what parents have to go through with the blessings from heaven.
Love beyond measure
kim xx
RE: puberty.Oh help!!
The belly button thing didn't present too much of a problem, though I did post a whole thread on it at the time due to her doing it behind my back! It healed over and was ok, am not happy about the meridian thing as I work with meridians a lot!
She is currently sporting a very thick ear. And, NO, I didn't give it to her, but feel like I should have!;)
She had two piercings put into the top of her ear last week and is suffering for it as they have swelled up (she tells me this happpens to EVERYBODY!)[&:] Anyway she sure felt it when I had to pull the butterflies off them last night as they were agony. She nearly passed out. Her boyfriend has his eyebrow done and I have begged her not to do it. She is at Grammar School but it doesn't seem to cause any problem there. All I can say is that compared to some of the piercings that her friends have had done (a-hem!)[:'(] this is quite tame.