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My sons needs

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Posts: 254
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(@pamperyou)
Reputable Member
Joined: 21 years ago

Hello all, I am unsure where to put this and should a moderator have a prefered spot all the better.
My son is 4.8yrs he is special need (know title as yet given, mild Autism mentioned couple of times.) He doesn't know his colours, shapes nor does he understand which is which. He has sort of started counting to 10 and back but doesn't know individual numbers or which comes where etc. He has difficulties in his speech and awaits seeing the speech therapist at end July, he can name loads of wwe wrestlers and disney characters and lots of things, but struggles to understand things unless very basic and struggles to be understood if making sentences longer than 6/7 words at a time.
He is rather hyper at times and its sometimes rather hard to calm him, he tends to lash out when hes not doing what he wants or if he gets frustrated. Hes difficult to get to do as you want most of the time, and is seen to be 'naughty' though thats not whats wrong. He likes to take something of his around with him and has always something in his hand. There's more things but this gives an idea about my son.
The thing is the Dr. who assessed him states he needs 121, small group aid at most to enter school. We had a visit from 'steps' and she explained how they work (observing and assessing) i've been onto the educational medical dept. they told me about the system of (observing and assessing.)
The form teacher to be and head of school were to come for a 10min home visit week last friday, i had the h/visitor be with me to explain my sons needs, she came at 1pm they were due at 1.30pm. At 2.20pm i rang the school to be told they came at 1.30 didn't get an answer and left, i was told i had a candle in window burning, and that No they wouldn't be coming back. So the H/visitor rang the school, she was discussed at hoe rude the secretary was to her, they even questioned his been SN which i'd stated on his application.
Anyway my hubby took our son to the 1hr school visit and came home after 25mins as son was so not happy and didn't want to be there. The teacher didn't bat an eye lid, the school have said how they think he'll be fine and if hes not they can apply for funding next april (which they'll get next Nov) but don't have to use to my son directly, he is excpected to enter school on his own and be there for at least 14 months, and then if that didn't work they can (observe and assess) to see what his probs are and try to work out a solution and if that doesn't work they can applt for state to look at his criteria to see if they feel he should have a ''formal'' assessment to them to decide that even then he may not qualifiy for 'statementing' to be able to go into a 'special needs unit.'
So i want to home educate my son as i know him, what he likes and i want to learn him about life and the things that he will need and the things he wants to learn, i've got a info pack from Sheffield education dept and have been looking up stuff on Net, but wondered if anyone had any input at all, help and info greatly welcome.
Warmth
Rach xx [&:]

7 Replies
Posts: 0
(@Anonymous)
New Member
Joined: 1 second ago

RE: My sons needs

Hi Rach
Don't know that I can help other than to offer support - as a mum, I know how unhappy you must be at the school's reaction. My gut instinct says don't send him there - if they are already negative towards you then chances are that's how they will appear to your son. Possibly because they know that your son is SN then they are loathe to take him on, knowing that it'll take up more of their time - a sad fact but true.

Is it at all possible to find another school locally who are more positive? It really can vary greatly between schools, or even between teachers. I've generally found that having a bad experience with the head and a teacher means that the school itself will not be much different, after all, the head is directly involved in who is employed as a teacher at that school.

Best of luck with it all - at least he has a great mum & dad who clearly love him to bits!

Love Carolyn

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lightwinds
Posts: 8327
(@lightwinds)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 21 years ago

RE: My sons needs

Hi Rach, got some stuff for you.....Was still waiting for sister to send things by email.....but a lorry crash and knock down phone lines......so she been off line for a while.....
Anyway got this one tell all the answer, laws for home learning......very good site.
look under FAQ
Also look for Home Education Support Groups in your area.
Also good article about other parents home teaching.
Best i check these link are working ok------yes

learning
Fun interactive

Will let you know any more info as i fine it.

love and blessings
lightwinds xx
Wendy

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kpuk
Posts: 919
 kpuk
(@kpuk)
Prominent Member
Joined: 21 years ago

RE: My sons needs

Hello Pamperyou,

Your story is not that unusual at all, sadly. My daughter has severe learning difficulties, which, in a funny sort of way, makes it easier, as she was Statemented at 3, and has been at an SLD school ever since. (She would gain NOTHING from integration/inclusion in mainstream.

My first question would be, has your son been assessed for a Statement of Educational Needs? If not, perhaps get your health visitor on the case, or ring the education department of your local council and ask for advise.

If your son does need a statment, it is required by law that this has to be completed within x amount of weeks (sorry cant remember the exact amount). Then the statement is a legal document, and if it states that your son should have 121 help, the school has a legal responsibilty to provide it.

have you considered a special school? I know as a parent we shy away from these, but in the right environment, our children, whether their need is complex or not, can shine and make fantastic progress, without the pressure of "conforming", and with staff and teachers who are dedicated to getting the best from the kids.

I would suggest you find an advocate to help you. There are many support groups that provide this service. Your GP may also have contacts.

The sad fact is that you learn to develop a thick skin,, and also you learn how to be very assertive. It is easy to get walked over by the professionals.

I have learnt to take notes - during meetings if necessary - and to ask for something to be expalined again and again if you are not clear about it. Do not be fobbed off. If you are told someone will get back to you - ask when. Tell them you will ring back if you have not heard.
Write letters. It is easy to ignore a missed phone call, but not a document.
Be informed. Use the internet, or books, or other people. Knowledge is power!

Although I quuite inderstand your desire to teach your son at home, please do think very carefully about this. It may be more beneficial for your son to have to input of all the other professionals that he will get at a chool, as well as the interaction of other children.

Not forgetting YOU. Having a child with any kind of disabilty can be very tiring, emotionally and physically. Having them at home 24/7 will be quite a strain!

Please keep us informed.

k

EDIT Sorry, just realised you do touch on statementing - but it is something that YOu can instigate, without waiting for this appalling sounding school to decide to do! Ask your Health Visitor or GP for all the info they can give you, with letters if possible, then write to the education department yourself.

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Posts: 580
(@maleaurora)
Honorable Member
Joined: 21 years ago

RE: My sons needs

Hi Rach

When my son was 3/4 he suffered from a speech problem, he could talk but in his own language.....they thought he was deaf and tested his hearing but it came back fine. We were sent to a speech therapist who did a lot of work on him but really nothing improved the situation.

He would have words in replacement for normal words....so when he wanted a drink he would say his word cause he couldn't say the real thing etc. This caused massive tantrums etc when we didn't understand what he was saying.

Eventually his speech changed (roughly about a year later) and I'm happy to say he's a great lad and proud of him and he did really well on his SATS this year. I'm really not sure I can add much Rach to whats already been said but I know that you really have to fight your corner cause I did find myself at some stages thinking that no one really wanted to help us.

My mums a special needs teacher so maybe I can show her your post and see what help she can offer........I'll send you a PM with what she says.

Take care

MA

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Posts: 254
Topic starter
(@pamperyou)
Reputable Member
Joined: 21 years ago

RE: My sons needs

Hi all, I've just spent half hour writing to you all, only for it to be wiped as i think the postings was been moved. so i'll start again tommorow as i'm shattered.
Thank you all for your advice though, its much appreciated.
Warmth to all
Rach xx
[&:]

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Posts: 1462
(@anahata)
Noble Member
Joined: 21 years ago

RE: My sons needs

Sorry PY - that was my fault, I think. 🙁

If it's any consulation I lost several myself, it does just happen at times. So much so, that if I write anything more than a paragraph - I Highlight & Copy it to the Clip Board on a regular basis, so if the Post fails I can go back & just Paste what I've written. 😉

Probably was me though - Sorry. [sm=hidesbehindsofa.gif]

Andrew.

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Posts: 254
Topic starter
(@pamperyou)
Reputable Member
Joined: 21 years ago

RE: My sons needs

[:@],I'll let you off this once and thanks for the tip on clipboarding.
warmth to all Rach xx 😉

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