Anorexia at 7 years of age?

Mad times we live in! It can suck one in its warped ways.
Finding a way to bring emotional intelligence in children could be an effective resaponse to the madness that surrounds them.
Heart to heart chatting with children can reveal not only what happens inside their mind and emotions but also in their immediate surroundings when they are away from parents. And mostly there in lies the root of such copy cat behaviour.

Making them aware that the need to be loved and appreciated is the most basic and powerful need in all and how it can drive people to desparate measures for attainment of the same, if they feel that this need is not being met. She has to be made aware that this is not necessarily her conscious choice but what she has has seen happening around her and started doing it herself

Introducing children to self- love is another buffer against such disorders. Respect for who one is and accepting oneself and being oneself are far more endearing qualities in the long run.

I speak a lot with childreen and am always pleasantly surprised how they absorb and respond to such chats.
Children are impressionable and before anybody has a chance to impress them with life-negating ideas grab the opportunity to impress them with life affirming ideas is my motto

It is pointless feeling guilty over this, this situation can be redeemed in a beautiful manner now that you this issue has come into your awareness. It is a great opportunity to give her a new perspective, so that she grows back bone to be her own person and not be psychologically bullied to conform to anyone's insanity.
There is a silver lining...
All the best

Oops! sorry Submitted it twice!

Mad times we live in! It can suck one in its warped ways.
Finding a way to bring emotional intelligence in children could be an effective resaponse to this madness that surrounds them.
heart to heart chatting with children can reveal not only what happens inside their mind and emotions but also in their immediate surroundings when they are away from parents. And mostly there lie the root of most of the copy cat behaviour.

Making them aware of how need to be loved and appreciated is the most basic and powerful need in all and how it can drive people to desparate measures for attainment of the same, if they feel that these needs are not met. She has to be made aware that these are not her conscious choices

Introducing them to self love is another buffer against such behaviour. Self love for who you are and accepting oneself and being yourself are are more endearing qualities in the long run.
I speak a lot with childreen and am always pleasantly surprised how they absorb and respond to such chats.
Children are impressionable and before anybody has a chance to impress with life-negating ideas grab the opportunity to impress them with life affirming ideas

It is pointless feeling guilty over this, this situation can be redeemed in a beautiful manner now that you this issue has come into your awareness. It is a great opportunity to give her a new perspective, so that she grows back bone to be her own person and not be bullied to conform to anyone's insanity.
There is a silver lining...
All the best

Are your family in South Africa? Could your daughter talk to one of the school staff - they may be unaware of this 'group' activity. I did witness something similar when I lived in the USA, but the children were slightly older - but only by a couple of years. They were junior beauty pageant contestants, and travelled all over the states to attend competitions. I knew 4 of them through the school that my daughter went to,and these little girls also had eating disorders - more like bulimia, as they used to binge at the end of a competition, and then make themselves sick. I really think you should get the school involved - there may be a counsellor or similar that they could involve.

If she's eating then throwing up, that's more like bulimia than anorexia and is potentially extremely damaging to her health.

I feel so much for you in your concern for her. Having worked with adult eating disorders (most of them began in teenage years) I am very mindful that the 'body image' explanation is usually only a minor part of the story.

Many adults with eating disorders account for having begun the behaviour because of emotional difficulties such as bullying, abuse, bereavement, loss, emotional neglect or similar... The point is that many young people who begin to develop eating disorders are unable to tell anyone what's wrong, even to the gentlest and most caring enquirer...

Throwing up can be a channel for people to express all the rage, anxiety, disappointment or whatever it is that they feel they must not express in other ways. As this child is so young, it's to be hoped that it's just a sort of copycat behaviour that will peter out soon.

That you love and care about your grandchild come across very clearly, and for her to feel that unconditional love and attention from you in any small 'safe' ways you can show it will be of greatest value.

All best wishes

This is Bulimic behaviour and can be helped!

Dear Queenfe,

I am glad you e-mailed your concerns here..it is by chance that I saw the HP newsletter and was able to pick up from the title, about your concerns over your granddaughter's health.

I am eating disorder counsellor & trainer in this field..and from what I can gather it sounds like she has managed to copy and instil a Bulimic behaviour over a period of time, otherwise she wouldn't be in a habit of going straight to the bathroom as soon after she finished the meal.

Fear not, as this is a learnt behaviour just like us adults, a child like her can unlearn it over a period of consistent changed behaviour. :)That is the good news.. especially if you have caught this concern early enough, then there's always hope that her psychology is yet to be permanently damaged.

I had two 6 year olds come to me last year : one with anorexia (avoidance of eating, and starvation in the absence of other behaviours) and one Bulimia (bingeing and purging after eater eating via vomiting). So this horrid and complex emotional imbalance and body image disturbance has no real low age limits... when it comes to age of onset.

Having said that, one of the members rightfully said many things can trigger this..dieting in the family, abuse (sexual or otherwise), genetic predisposition, low self esteem, poor social management skills, early onset of menstruation are some - although for your grand daughter peer pressure along with low self esteem seems to be key factors sadly.

I also work as a Consultant in school environment offering workshops on Body image and workshops on eating disorders.. not sure if you are in the UK.. but here the PSHE curriculum only really starts to address this issue from KS3 sadly..already this can be too late if the child is entrenched in more than one or two eating disorder contributing factors.

Queenfe, you may find the following may help her :

• Help your daughter address this immediately at your grand daughter's school.. mainly the Head teacher and class teachers should be told asap. Although how receptive they will be will depend on how serious they take this matter and the dire consequences that could easily plague the entire school if unaddressed.
• School may at this stage appoint the Education psychologist or a Practice nurse to properly diagnose her depending on your local facilities. Or your daughter's family may need to go via their family doctor to run some medical examination..especially if her Body mass index is below what she ought to be for her age and gender at this stage. There may be some internal damage along side electrolyte imbalance ..only detailed blood test, and examination could reveal this. Her face may be already swollen and painful to the touch!
• Suggest a 3-way meeting between your daughter(with her partner), and Head teacher & class teacher so they can address the group of students who may be following this pattern of unhealthy behaviours.
• At home, ensure granddaughter has space and opportunity to openly and transparently talk about what may be worrying about putting on weight and what she has embraced bulimic behaviours.
• Your daughter could nurturing and supportively allow her to explore how she feels about her body image...and also discuss eating , meal preparatory behaviours that is followed at home that may be causing her great anxiety.
• In the mean time, it is well worth doing things, activities that your grand daughter finds pleasing, which also boosts her confidence in her self once more.
• Positively and proactively helping her to look at her assets, he talents, her good & successful behaviours can be tremendously helpful to boost that little girl of yours
• both female and male role models that she looks up to should be aware of their own body discomforts, and language patterns ..so they do not send any message that slim is good!!! Allow her acceptance on all levels yet keep adult-child boundaries too.

There are alot you can do.. and I am mindful not to overwhelm you with too much information..
Queenfe, please PM/e-mail me or feel free to get in touch so I can talk you through what else you and your daughter can do..

In the mean time sites such as can be very helpful. You may also find the National Centre for the Eating disorders can be helpful in seeking some 1-2-1 advice, help and counselling support for you or your daughter's family.

I wish you and your family peace, and good health

with warm wishes

Vathani

Hi Queenfe,

I have replied to you by PM 🙂