Hi all.
I haven't been on here for ages... But as usual, I come back when I need support.
I've had ulcerative colitis for many years, I should've been getting regular colonoscopies, but let it slide as a) I've been symptom free for 2 years and b) I found the medical stuff so demoralising and depressing.
The beginning of august, I woke up with sudden onset of abdominal pain. It progressively got worse over a couple of days; contraction type pain, and eventually vomiting, unable to keep food and fluids down.
After 6 weeks of being in and out of hospital, pain, vomiting, limited BMs, 2 sets of x-rays, ultrasound, CT scan, colonoscopy... it wasn't until a SECOND CT scan that they discovered I had a tumour. At this point, biopsies came back negative for cancer. So originally they thought it was benign but in the process of becoming malignant. I underwent a very big operation, my whole colon was removed and my small intestine joined to the rectal stump. That was nearly five weeks ago and I've recovered from the op amazingly well. But it was an unbelievable shock when the histology report came back from my cut out bits and pieces, revealing that I had quite advanced cancer, with 11 out of the 60 lymph nodes removed discovered to be affected. I was told T4 N2 with no spread to other organs. I've also had it explained to me that T4 is not the same as stage 4. Mine was stage 3.
I'm about to undergo adjuvant chemo and radio, this will go on for 6 months. I know many people are passionately opposed to this treatment, but I have faith in it, every instinct tells me to go with it. I start 11/11/2014.
In the meantime, I've been doing the baking (bicarb) soda protocol with blackstrap molasses, although evidence, even anecdotal, is very thin on the ground. But it gives me a feeling of DOING something. Once chemo is underway, or after it's finished, I'm going to alkalise my diet. I tried to do this for a few days, but wasn't gaining weight fast enough. I need to eat high calorie stuff, so I'm not worrying too much. And thankfully I've gained a couple of pounds. I weighed 8st1lb after the op and I'm 5'7½'', so underweight.
I'm also having bitter apricot kernels and barley grass tablets.
The final thing I feel I need to tackle is the mental/emotional/spiritual side of things. One thing I've noticed when reading survivor stories is that most of them have some sort of faith.
I absolutely have to get better. I have 2 little boys, aged 2 and 4 and they need me. I turn 39 this month.
So... What I'm asking for is: advice, love, support, encouragement, healing, prayers, etc. After initial pessimism, I've somehow turned it on its head and feeling more confident now. But I know having people helping me and cheering me on will make a difference.
Thanks all,
Xx
With your attitude to 'life' I think you are already ahead of the game.
I have a close friend who is almost neck and neck with you and the same diagnosis. She is now 41. She had breast cancer aged 32, and developed colon mets the following year, aged 33. She follows an almost vegan regime, but having previously been a meat eater, misses it so occasionally allows herself organic venison. She is also dairy free. She takes everything that orthodox medicine gives her (after 5 years, she is still on monthly chemo - she is on a 'trial') but is, in her words, living with cancer, not dying of it! She is also under the care of a medical herbalist, and a 'vibrational medicine' practitioner. Her oncologist used to raise his eyebrows about her alternative healthcare, but is now of the opinion that something must be working - and as long as she is happy and healthy, she should carry on.
Good luck. One user on here recommended going down the alkaline diet route so worthwhile investigating as it's really easy to follow.
I, too, would choose radio and chemo over just the likes of Reiki and healthy eating.
Hi Tigerlily
Sending big hugs and positive thoughts
June
With your attitude to 'life' I think you are already ahead of the game.
I have a close friend who is almost neck and neck with you and the same diagnosis. She is now 41. She had breast cancer aged 32, and developed colon mets the following year, aged 33. She follows an almost vegan regime, but having previously been a meat eater, misses it so occasionally allows herself organic venison. She is also dairy free. She takes everything that orthodox medicine gives her (after 5 years, she is still on monthly chemo - she is on a 'trial') but is, in her words, living with cancer, not dying of it! She is also under the care of a medical herbalist, and a 'vibrational medicine' practitioner. Her oncologist used to raise his eyebrows about her alternative healthcare, but is now of the opinion that something must be working - and as long as she is happy and healthy, she should carry on.
I've read of a few people who've said the same thing - they're 'living' with it. I'll also go the mostly vegan route. And at least one fresh veggie juice a day. At least, that's the intention!
Good luck. One user on here recommended going down the alkaline diet route so worthwhile investigating as it's really easy to follow.
I, too, would choose radio and chemo over just the likes of Reiki and healthy eating.
I think a lot of the cynicism might originate from countries such as the USA, where the healthcare system allows cancer to be big business. In the UK, there's some drugs that people are desperate to get hold of which isn't funded by the NHS in all postcodes. The NHS simply isn't set up for making profit. They don't 'sell' you chemo here and we're lucky to be treated for free. Plus I think alternative cures are out there for us all to find and try out. I don't think there's some big conspiracy. But, hey, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. Obviously the pharmaceutical companies are making money, but it isn't sold to us.
Sending love and hugs your way Tigerlily.
Complementary therapy is just that....complementary. I know reiki can be very helpful and supportive when people are undergoing chemo. Whatever you decide to do to support yourself will help.
Good luck and do keep us posted xx
Sending love and hugs your way Tigerlily.
Complementary therapy is just that....complementary. I know reiki can be very helpful and supportive when people are undergoing chemo. Whatever you decide to do to support yourself will help.
Good luck and do keep us posted xx
Thanks :). The daughter of a friend of my mum's had recently just finished 6 months of chemo and she said Reiki really helped her. I will try it. The great thing about where I live - maybe most areas do this as well - they offer loads of support and that includes things like reflexology, acupuncture and relaxation techniques. So I'll be making the most of it and taking up much of what they offer!
Tiger lily
May I narrate something that happened less than year ago, in hope to inspire and lighten you up
Last December, we had a friend with no close family around him, came to stay with us. He was terminally ill with lung cancer and lived with us for 9 -10 weeks. He had 'weeks to live'. When he arrives mid December.
A chain smoker, he told me clearly that he is not giving up smoking not even for death...that was his only joy....and that was understandable. I fact I quite admired his defiance in the face of death. Carry on mate!
But we did cut down his daily ration of 1 bottle of wine to last 5-6 days. That is all the changes we insisted on. he was calmer, cared for, well rested, we joked about death, we carried on normally. We belonged together as a family. Laughed, carried on oblivious of the reasons why he had come. Normalized everything So that his being became the focus rather than the condition that he had.
We did the baking soda protocol religiously twice a day....he kept at his rollie...it did not matter. In fact that was good that he Could not be clingy about getting better. Loose and natural man. We enjoyed loose and natural family life with him.
We got ph strips to monitor his alkalinity levels. We raised it pretty high but could never achieve the 9.5 ( the desired mark, which I forget now.) We just kept him alkaline.
No spiritual waffle, no lesson to be learnt, no mending of ways, no listening to body...no fuss. Just lose and natural. Settled and loose, bobbing with what is...without agendas to get better, heal, to improve. (Needless to say He clearly had that intention in his heart to seek help) But without making it a cerebral thing. Without getting clingy. Not desperately holding on to health, life. He is a remarkable man. not without his fears but jolly and defiant in the face of death, embracing it with courage rarely seen. Striving but not fighting.
Glad to say he is still alive and kicking, back to his old tricks. The scheduled scan took place and the doctors could not find the lump. Gone! He is free of it.
Stay mentally carefree but diligent in heart. You will be just fine. Hopefully the Story of Mike ( Not his real name) inspires you to conquer it without fighting with it.
Much love and blessings
Tiger lily
May I narrate something that happened less than year ago, in hope to inspire and lighten you upLast December, we had a friend with no close family around him, came to stay with us. He was terminally ill with lung cancer and lived with us for 9 -10 weeks. He had 'weeks to live'. When he arrives mid December.
A chain smoker, he told me clearly that he is not giving up smoking not even for death...that was his only joy....and that was understandable. I fact I quite admired his defiance in the face of death. Carry on mate!
But we did cut down his daily ration of 1 bottle of wine to last 5-6 days. That is all the changes we insisted on. he was calmer, cared for, well rested, we joked about death, we carried on normally. We belonged together as a family. Laughed, carried on oblivious of the reasons why he had come. Normalized everything So that his being became the focus rather than the condition that he had.
We did the baking soda protocol religiously twice a day....he kept at his rollie...it did not matter. In fact that was good that he Could not be clingy about getting better. Loose and natural man. We enjoyed loose and natural family life with him.
We got ph strips to monitor his alkalinity levels. We raised it pretty high but could never achieve the 9.5 ( the desired mark, which I forget now.) We just kept him alkaline.No spiritual waffle, no lesson to be learnt, no mending of ways, no listening to body...no fuss. Just lose and natural. Settled and loose, bobbing with what is...without agendas to get better, heal, to improve. (Needless to say He clearly had that intention in his heart to seek help) But without making it a cerebral thing. Without getting clingy. Not desperately holding on to health, life. He is a remarkable man. not without his fears but jolly and defiant in the face of death, embracing it with courage rarely seen. Striving but not fighting.
Glad to say he is still alive and kicking, back to his old tricks. The scheduled scan took place and the doctors could not find the lump. Gone! He is free of it.
Stay mentally carefree but diligent in heart. You will be just fine. Hopefully the Story of Mike ( Not his real name) inspires you to conquer it without fighting with it.
Much love and blessings
Thank you so, so much! I can't begin to tell you how hearing something like this helps! What an amazing story 🙂
I feel like the word 'fighting' has negative connotations. Also 'battling'. My focus right now is trying all sorts of different things to help, as long as I'm able to do them happily. Suddenly realising that things I used to think were important, things I used to worry about are completely insignificant - which in itself is a massive positive, things that were weighing me down have been lifted. I'm taking each day as it comes, making the most of laughing with my kids and enjoying simple things like getting a lungful of fresh air.
Suddenly 'don't sweat the small stuff' has meaning.
Thank you so, so much! I can't begin to tell you how hearing something like this helps! What an amazing story 🙂
I feel like the word 'fighting' has negative connotations. Also 'battling'. My focus right now is trying all sorts of different things to help, as long as I'm able to do them happily. Suddenly realising that things I used to think were important, things I used to worry about are completely insignificant - which in itself is a massive positive, things that were weighing me down have been lifted. I'm taking each day as it comes, making the most of laughing with my kids and enjoying simple things like getting a lungful of fresh air.
Suddenly 'don't sweat the small stuff' has meaning.
Glad it inspires you.
Brush with death....or that fear hitting one in the face can be the ultimate grace and quickest way to wake up to priorities. Most of what we keep paddling is insanely insignificant - what we do, know, believe, passionate about, precious experiences of life....lessons learnt, not learnt, memories, grudges, grinds, knowledge, wisdom, talents....and the rest of RaRa....all evaporates in a puff. Doesn't pin you down anymore.
Mist of cerebral living lifted, One begins to appreciate what is immediate...rather than keep justifying the cerebral world that we live through. 99.9% of people live through the world of mind sphere....all conceptual jargon. Real life is simple, immediate, uncomplicated, direct, moment to moment, no time to think. It is what it is and you do what you have to do. Then life lives you....and life lived this way, death comes that is welcome too.
We are all on the same train, death is certain only a matter of time... Death starts from the very moment of birth, why care? Live with abandon!
Enjoy, breathe, relax, eat sleep, be merry.....you are always looked after
Love