Hello there..
My mother's district nurses have suggested she accepts visit and support from MacMillan Nursing Care. Mum is really against this, as she doesn't want to go into the ins and outs of her illness with anyone. However, I cannot help but think it would do her and dad the world of good but it's something I know zilch about, therefore I am not putting up very persuasive chats with her.
It didn't really help that the district Nurse told her they would talk about death and dying :eek:, when my mother has been extremely positive and intends to live to a ripe older age:), dispite the desease and whatever her body is telling her.
I only hear vague comments they are very good, but I don't know what service they provide really.
Has anyone any experience - advice - knowledge regarding what Macmillan nursing provides?
I'm afraid I can't answer any of your questions from personal experience, but their website is here:
Holistic
Hi Fleur - I have had experiences with Macmillan from different aspects. When they became involved in my sisters care they were mostly helpful. They certainly made a difference in getting medication and assistance of all kinds sorted out. They did to a degree go against what a couple of the families wishes were - wishes based on discussions with my sister - but its hard to be objective about it because of my emotional involvement.
I do think that the image of the Macmillan Nurse being there just for patients in the later stages of a life limiting illness has changed.
Can I suggest that you make an appointment to go and see them yourself? I am sure they could put your mind at rest and also help you with information to share with your Mum so that she can make an informed choice.
With respect to her illness - I am sure they would have a handover from the GP / Hospital Doc / District Nurse and the intent isn't normally to go into great detail but more to look at specific aspects that cause difficulties and work to try and alleviate those. Do have a read round bits on their site as I think it will give you a wider view of their work.
Two other things I would say. The Macmillan team are also there for the family and even if your Mum decides she doesn't want to involve them at this point, you can still see them independently.
Secondly, sometimes it is easier for someone to discuss how they feel and what worries them or doesn't as the case may be - with someone who is a knowledgeable outsider. It is very hard for both the person who is ill and their carers to not always feel they must be seen to be coping and dealing with everything.
Please feel free to email me if you want to discuss this further off post.
Your Mum is so lucky to have such a caring daughter - I am sure that plays a big part in how well she has dealt with her illness.
Take care, hugs
Celia
Fleur, I have no experience of MacMillan nurses except for a vague feeling that they are a very good thing. However, I do think it sad that there's such a taboo about even talking about death or dying....I don't think it's a negative thing at all. After all, we are all going to die sooner or later. I sincerely hope that in your mother's case it will be considerably later, but I honestly don't see any reason not to cultivate a healthy relationship with the thought of one's own death. I know that many people derive great benefit from being open about the thought of death and from planning, for example, their funeral service. There's nothing IMHO at all morbid or unpleasant about this. But then I'm firmly of the belief that death is not the end of anything, simply a door into another room. Anyway, I hope someone will come on who has personal experience of MacMillan nurses and can help you sort out what you can discuss with your mother. (I must say though that it seems a bit crass of the district nurse to tell your mum so bluntly that the MacMillan nurses will talk about death and dying. A tad insensitive I would say. I'm sure they are trained to bring up the subject gently.)
Good luck anyway. I know what a worry this must be for you.
xxx
I understand fully what you are saying Sunanda about death etc, as it's my belief too and mums, but dad is an atheist. However, I also believe cannot truly know how we will feel about it until it is directly staring us in the face, and we don't know which side we will wake from after the next sleep?
I think the Macmillan nurses would be very good support for dad..we know he's been under strain and bottling everything up. I will look through the link there, thanks Holistic and Celia, might give them a ring myself.
Hello there..
My mother's district nurses have suggested she accepts visit and support from MacMillan Nursing Care. Mum is really against this, as she doesn't want to go into the ins and outs of her illness with anyone. However, I cannot help but think it would do her and dad the world of good but it's something I know zilch about, therefore I am not putting up very persuasive chats with her.
It didn't really help that the district Nurse told her they would talk about death and dying :eek:, when my mother has been extremely positive and intends to live to a ripe older age:), dispite the desease and whatever her body is telling her.
I only hear vague comments they are very good, but I don't know what service they provide really.
Has anyone any experience - advice - knowledge regarding what Macmillan nursing provides?
Hi Fleur
I will send you a private message, as I have experienced MacMillian.
Jane
Fleur
My Dad was not keen on the MacMillan nurse visiting as he was fed-up with being prodded and poked and going into all the ins and outs of his illness. Sometimes people get to that point where they have just had enough of talking to yet another medical professional.
However, my mum gently persuaded him by saying that any help would be a good thing. And I must say, the MacMillan nurse has been absolutely brilliant. She has spent time explaining why he has certain medication, what it can do, and when to use it to control his symptoms. This has given him some control back in his life. She has also giving excellent support to my lovely mum who has been nursing my dad (by choice) continually. She is exhausted, but doesn't want to leave him. The MacMillan nurse listened, and reassured my mum what a good job she was doing, and how else she could get help. She's offered my mum complimentary therapies at the local hospice.
All in all, my dad and family are going through a really tough time, and the MacMillan nurse has been a wonderful support, I could not recommend their service highly enough. I hope this helps.
Vanessa xx
A friend of mine had MacMillan support right to the end - and the family said they were a wonderful help. Kind, non-intrusive, tactful and very helpful.
I hope she changes her mind Fleur x
Thankyou all for your thoughtful replies on here and by PM. I visited my parents today (they are an hours car drive) but the subject never came up.....other family dramas are ongoing as well which took presidence today. 🙁
Not been here very much as familly illness and problems seem to have taken over!
But I can say that our local McMillan Nurses are fab, my in-laws were reluctant at first but now acknowledge that they are supporting them through a very difficult time.
There is a lot more, but each family is unique and the nurses adapt their care to the individuals concerned.
As for familly problems we have had many, but now I have decided who is my priority and everyone else can do as they please as I have learnt that any help will be thrown back in your face, after so many attempts I've given up and walked away, turned my back and said just get on without me/us, but leave me/us out of the triangle as we just cant deal with anymore. It was very hard at first but now I realised I couldnt make a difference, it didnt matter how much support we/I did it, it just wasnt enoug, but I did try, very, very hard but enough is enough.
But back to the Nurses if they have been suggested then definetly they are needed. Go back and have a chat.
Take care
Fudge
xxx