I'm done drinking - Requesting advice

Well done, Pete. This is obviously important to you and you've made a decision, so you are well on your way to achieving your aim to be alcohol free. I wish you everything you wish for yourself.

A couple of ideas. Patrick Holford published a book called, 'How to Quit without feeling S**T!' which has loads of ideas of supplements that help get over withdrawal symptoms, boost brain power, etc. You could get it from you library, I think. (Although there is a very competent Nutritional Therapist on here who will, I am sure be along soon with some excellent advice!)

Also, you could try EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which, while it doesn't 'cure' an addiction or habit in one go always, it certainly helps at those times when you really want a drink!! There is an excellent site at: where you can see how to do the technique and read loads of articles etc. about people in the same situation as you who have used it very effectively. I'm an EFT practitioner and always to help you if you need it.

I look forward to following your success on here!

Hi, Pete . You are certainly on the right track & I am happy to offer support & 'listen' to you - PM me if you want. There are loads of people on here who will offer much better dietry/nutritional advice than I can- but I'm a good listener/supporter/booster 🙂

Take care, Yvonne x

Derek and Yvonne, many thanks for your words of support. 🙂

Well done for taking such a positive step.

Stay true to yourself regardless of what anyone thinks, and that includes your friends. It may even be a good idea to let them know about your intentions and ask for them to support you in your decision. You may find that they help you instead of not supporting you.

Of course, it may be necessary to stop being in their company at least initially until you get a handle on the situation.

Be strong and trust yourself, you can do this x

Well done for taking the right step. I too am taking the step myself i feel like im p****ng my life away !! I am also confused about all the information out there. I read somewhere that if I just stop I would end up dead but i thought that what the AA tell you to do??? It suggests to cut down but thats part of the problem I cant stop at one glass maybe one bottle.... I too am faced with people who dont believe that I can do it or think Im joking but I am really serious about it.. Maybe we should set up our own alcohol free club ???

Rosi, thanks for your support. 🙂 I intend to stick to this. I am through with the hangovers and the stupid stuff I say and do because, like Karen said, I can't stick to just one drink. I'll say "Just one more..." god knows how many times and before I know it I'm mangled.

The worst part of the situation is that the friends who I thought wouldn't take me seriously about this are amazingly pissed off with me right now. It's because of three nights ago I decided to give it up. I said and did a lot of stupid, stupid * after I got *****ed and let the stresses of work and life build up into a head and come out all at once. I've lost my girlfriend and my friends for it. My girlfriend says she still loves me but doesn't believe I'm changing for the better and refuses to see me to talk things through until I get the respect of my friends back. Only problem is, they all hang out together and none of them are talking to me. So the only way to fix things with her is through them and the only way to fix things with them is through her. I truly want to make it up to them all and show them how important and special they are to me.

It's depressing me thinking that I've lost some of the closest friends I've ever had. The possibility of regaining their friendship is there somewhere but right now when I could use their support, I've gone and messed it all up for myself.

Times like these I'd drink myself into a stupor, forget it all, wake up the next day feeling like a bus'd hit me and leaked oil in my mouth then hope for the best.

But I refuse to give up. And there's some words of strength from me to you, Karen: Refuse to give up. I know I can do this. I know you can do this too whether they believe you or not. Whether they believe you're joking or not, we're here to talk. Just think how awesome you're going to feel once your liver and your head's clear! 😀

I'm three whole days in (yay :p ) but I know I'm not stopping. I got my Omega-3 and multivitamin pills, I'm going through juice like a madman, eating more regularly and I know, no matter what, I'm on the right path. If it weren't for work knackering me, I'd feel like King Kong right now!

Thanks again for your support guys. It really does mean a lot to me to know there are people rooting for me! 😀

Karenjo4

If you are drinking alcoholically, it is indeed dangerous to stop drinking without medical intervention. Anyone concerned about this for themselves or a loved one, would be advised to consult their GP rather than suddenly stop drinking alcohol.

The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. No-one in AA (at least no-one worth listening to) would insist to a new member that they "have to stop drinking" and suggest they do so immediately. This would be irresponsible and dangerous, and it's inaccurate to suggest this is what AA advises. It isn't.

A responsible AA member (there are plenty of us) would advise someone who wished to stop drinking, to visit their GP to check the situation out. If it is clear that someone is drinking very heavily (a recovering alcoholic can usually tell ;)) never would any responsible AA member say they should stop drinking immediately! What may happen, is that these responsible AA members might advise a new member of local agencies who would be able to help them withdraw from alcohol safely. Some members may even offer to meet the person at one of these, or their GP surgery if the new person needs that moral support to take the first step.

If anyone knows what the consequences of sudden withdrawal of alcohol can do if you are drinking alcoholically, it's a recovering alcoholic, and they are not going to impose this on one of their fellows. AA members come from all walks of life, some of us may even be medically qualified, but in AA, we're just another recovering alcoholic, not actually there to tell anyone what to do, or not do.

Just wanted to clarify 😀

Good luck to both of you, Pete and Karen. From what I know from friends it is one day at a time and recognising you have a problem is a huge step and making changes and educating yourself about the best way to deal with this is a very good way forward.

Friends will no doubt be surprised, shocked and some maybe not very supportive (perhaps because it causes them to think of their own issues with alcohol?) but the real friends will win through and be there for you but they may take a little time to accept that you are genuinely wanting and trying to change.

Oddly enough as I was thinking how to end my post other than saying good luck to you both - the NLP phrase you hear so often came into my mind....

"If you don't like what you always get - don't do what you've always done"

Take care.

Update

Hey guys Been almost two weeks since I started stopping... It's been a little weird. I went through the first 8 days with nothing. Drank juice, took my vitamins, ate well. Felt really good and positive. Made up with my friends and girlfriend which was good. Work's still stressing the hell out of me but I kept it going. No shakes, no real mood swings...I spent an afternoon at my brother's place where he and my cousin were drinking. I stuck to juice. It was easier than I thought. However, on the Friday, I went to meet my girlfriend and her new work team...That's where I slipped. I saw them all drinking and I weakened. I grabbed a pint but told myself it would be the only one. Then the sambuca came out to play. So I had one of those. Went to the pictures after that, had to wait for the flick, had a bottle of beer. Saw the film. When we got out a couple mates were waiting with a beer and a sambuca. So I drank those too. Thankfully it didn't affect me. I was already knackered from the week of work but no adverse reactions to the booze. Saturday and Sunday I was on call for work but had two cans of beer on each day after I left. Had a slight spat with the girlfriend and stayed at work on Monday night. Drank a few beers and went to bed. I feel ashamed of myself for slipping. I think this time I've got to plan ahead. As I said, I didn't get any physical withdrawal symptoms but the mental aspect is there... I think I'll begin reading "How to quit without feeling sh*t" now it's arrived in the post. Cheers for the suggestion Derek.

You may have to consider not being with friends that drink for a while at least until you become accustomed to not drinking.

When I quit smoking I had a hard time being around friends that smoked. A friend came to stay for a week and she would ask that I accompany her outside the house whilst she smoked. In the end I had to say to her that I couldn't do that, because being in such close proximity to the act of smoking was quite tough.

The stage didn't last for long though.

If you think about it, quitting something is hard enough, to surround yourself with the people that are doing the very thing you are trying to stop doing is torture.

If they are good friends they will still be around when you're ready to be around drink and not partake. If they're not such good friends, then who needs them anyway.

I hope you don't continue to put yourself in situations where you may be tempted, at least for the short term.

Good Luck!

something to remember is that you have unconsciously taught yourself that drinking helps, when you are stressed the instinctive part of the brain will try to help by craving alcohol.

As stated avoid situations where there is alcohol for a while, I'd also recommend visiting a support service, there should be an alcohol or drug&alcohol service close to you.

Also at your age deciding never to drink again is a big thing, you don't need to make that decision yet. but deciding to stop for a while say 12 weeks, gives an acheiveable target.

during this time make sure you do other things, explore any feelings that come up, you could keep a diary, find someone you can talk to, you might try a 12 step meeting (they are not for everyone though, but what have you got to loose by trying one?)

I also think therapy is a good idea (I think everyone should get therapy at least once in their lives) like other things it sometimes takes a while to find the right therapist-counselor, treat it as an experiment, ring a few local ones up and ask if you can have a discussion about what they do (they shouldn't charge you for this)

it can also help to write down the pro's and con's of drinking and the pro's and con's of stopping.

notice times when you are more likely to drink and whats going on )outside and emotionally) start to build a picture of your own patterns when it comes to alcohol

someone above said alcoholics should be careful stopping, this is confusing, dependant drinkers need to be careful, go to wikipedia and read up on alcohol dependance learn about alcohol and how it effects you

learning new skills takes time and effort, remember learning to ride a bike, you fell off a few times right? it can be the same with changing drinking behavior, but the harder you prepare and the more support you get the easier this will be for you.

good luck

With understanding alcohol dependence there are very good reasons why alcohol doesn't "work" for a whole lot of people.

The stresses and strains of life create anticipation of "rewards" to make us feel better; that anticipation triggers a release of dopamine that engenders actions to satisfy the demand for reward. In most cases, the achieving the reward normally triggers a release of seratonin, which is involved in feelings of satisfaction and comfort. Here's the rub; alcohol actually suppresses the seratonin response; this triggers a further release of dopamine, which linked to behavior to find a reward, entices more alcohol intake to find that reward. Eventually this lead to staying in the pub til it closes or till you run out of money, or till you pass out. We've all been in the situation where we know we've had enough, but still have another, even though we know it make us feel bad the next day.

You've got to know why we do the things we do- only then can change begin

hi pete,

Its sounds to me lik eyou have a good awareness and are making steps in teh right direction. Moving through your addiction is a slow process and one that requires determination and opening your heart to others to be able to share your struggle. It is honourable that you are opening up your struggles and I;m sure when you see that this will also help others you will find that they are not empty struggles that you are going through but will take you to a place whereby you will find a more authentic way of being in this world.

I wish you well

Anthony

Hi Pete. Welcome to the forum and a big congrats to you on making the decision to quit. I can make a few suggestions for you regarding supplements and some other points. Go to a good supplements shop. I know there are quite a few in the UK. Talk to someone there and tell them that you are quitting drinking. If they carry Renew Life / Cleanse Smart products, definitely get yourself on that program. I'm not sure if I can post a link, but they have many different types of herbal cleansing products.

Most of the programs are two to four weeks. One thing that I know about the addiction to alcohol, tobacco, sugar, bad carbs, etc, is that it's related to an imbalance in your insuling and sugar levels, ususally low blood sugar or hypoclycemia.

I'm hypoglycemic and a former smoker, and I've read tons of info on this. As some people have mentioned, you can't give up alcohol cold turkey, you need to wean off it gradually. BUT, if you give up sugar and processed foods, this will help you to get where you need to be sooner.

I can also suggest green tea. I actually gave up coffee for a whole year and drank green tea instead. I still drink lots of green tea and less coffee, but the green tea really makes a difffernce.

Also, if you have access to a gym, start a dedicated workout routine. This will, of course have many benefits, including the psychological side, the focus, the detoxifying, the building up of muscle and beneficial hormones.

If you look at it in the contxt of going out drinking for a couple of hours vs going to the gym for a couple of hours, 3-4 times per week, then the benefits are obvious. Even just the atmosphere in a gym - people go to better themselves. When you mentioned your 'drinking buddies' who are only friends because of this, you can make new friends at the gym who have healthier goals. You might even get the girlfriend issue sorted there too. 😀

Oh! How could I forget. Someone mentioned EFT. This is very good. I can also recommend Reiki as it is very healing both physically and emotionally.

I once decided to take 3 months off drinking, the peer pressure from work colleagues and friends to 'just have one' was immense. I took the decision partly because I felt I'd been drinking too much and partly as a challenge. Ignore the peer pressure and stay committed to what you're doing!

Now that I'm in my early forties and married with children, I don't feel any peer pressure to drink at all, it's a different story when you're younger though so stick to your guns & don't let the idiots put you off your chosen course...

We have just helped a relative with this and AA was a good start and I attended meetings with him but I thought it was generic help and there was a lapse with the nephew because of this. In the end we removed all access to funds, purchased lots of vitamins and sweet drinks and made him eat properly.

I have now turned him into a chess addict and regrettably he is occasionally winning. Just make your brain do other stuff 😎

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